i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
