I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize