I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
