I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
