Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
There's always time for handjobs
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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