he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
