i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
