Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
