I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize