Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
