I showed him my bush... on skype.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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