why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
