im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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