their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just had sex bonerless
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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