the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
