Me. At least after what I've been through.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
