You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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