i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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