Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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