Umm I'm too high to move.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
