last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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