We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
