Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
