And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
The air taste purple.
Randomize
