Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I deserve this hangover.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
