You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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