Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
