I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
