Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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