he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize