Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
