she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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