Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
