She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
