I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
