Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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