i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
