dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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