Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize
