I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
