when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize