She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
