I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
