How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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