YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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