I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
