I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
