Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
