as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
