I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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