i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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