Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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