one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
