mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
