That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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