I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
50% drunk capacity currently
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun