We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.