So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...