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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.

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• (516): View more from New York

  You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (619): View more from California

  I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life

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• (722): View more from

  It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."

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