Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support

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(313): I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support http://tfl.nu/by3u

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(323): View more from California

i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.

(918): View more from Oklahoma

Special does not even begin to describe that text.

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(323): i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet. (918): Special does not even begin to describe that text. http://tfl.nu/d8xn

Replies (6) Good night (3915) Bad night (1801)
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(757): View more from Virginia

my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...

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(757): my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'... http://tfl.nu/26q5

Replies (15) Good night (4074) Bad night (1347)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.

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(603): turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops. http://tfl.nu/vdzv

Replies (20) Good night (1103) Bad night (5837)
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(740): View more from Ohio

he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?

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(740): he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine? http://tfl.nu/es01

Replies (42) Good night (1341) Bad night (4173)
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(239): View more from Florida

So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.

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(239): So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life. http://tfl.nu/5out

Replies (14) Good night (5247) Bad night (881)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably

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(414): Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably http://tfl.nu/eax2

Replies (6) Good night (1604) Bad night (2398)
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(415): View more from California

i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.

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(415): i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus. http://tfl.nu/s77k

Replies (4) Good night (1166) Bad night (542)
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(928): View more from Arizona

i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.

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(928): i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice. http://tfl.nu/k07n

Replies (1) Good night (663) Bad night (467)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.

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(203): They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex. http://tfl.nu/k0sh

Replies (3) Good night (754) Bad night (507)
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(208): View more from Idaho

We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.

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(208): We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us. http://tfl.nu/uocw

Replies (2) Good night (545) Bad night (478)
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(408): View more from California

Dude, that was like bongs ago.

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(408): Dude, that was like bongs ago. http://tfl.nu/4e28

Replies (1) Good night (828) Bad night (390)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.

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(708): Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important. http://tfl.nu/v8rd

Replies (8) Good night (810) Bad night (406)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."

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(603): Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face." http://tfl.nu/jkkv

Replies (0) Good night (367) Bad night (497)
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(339): View more from Massachusetts

I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?

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(339): I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party? http://tfl.nu/m45s

Replies (0) Good night (662) Bad night (337)

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