I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
thus making me awesome and them whores
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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