I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
