I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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