nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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