Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Brb crying the tears of my youth
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just forgot I was standing up.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
