I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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