you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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